Homosexuality in Japan ( 10 )

As I said in my previous post ( 9 ), my experiences with Christian people led me to believe that they could not communicate about `the fun things in life` (ie gambling, sex, alcohol etc.). My Christian classmates in high school and university were not open to hearing other people's ideas and couldn't express opinions which were like experienced non-religious people's opinions. After listening to their ideas, they inevitably tried to gently push me in the direction of their church.

I didn't know it at the time but I started to think that all minority groups had to hold on to their own group's values and were brainwashed into to spreading `the word`, but I learnt that I was wrong.
Like all foreigners in a big city (New York, LA, Sydney, London etc.), I met a lot of gay people during my first few years in Tokyo. At first, I thought gay people would be like the christians I had known. Blend in well in social situations, but be closed minded to other lifestyles. Well, gay people (I shouldn't generalize but I am) are friendly and nice to all new acquaintances, and I found that they are open-minded and speak freely about `the fun things in life` and life in general. I think the conversations of gay people are often logically, and based on universal truths (rather than personal values). I usually find them intelligent, mentally stimualting and interesting to listen to - thanks to the gay people I've worked with in Tokyo.

Religion in Japan ( 9 )

I had quite a Christian upbringing. Not strict, but I learnt the Catholic ways. As a young boy I noticed that most adults liked to drink alcohol, most men liked women with low tops and big boobs, and most adults laughed at swear words. At church, I learnt that alcohol, sex and swear words (the fun things) were bad in the eyes of the church. I thought it was very noble that religious people chose to live their lives according to the values they believed would make a good society, but I wondered how they really fealt about `the fun things`.
I had the occasional classmate and friend (good but not close friends) who had been brought up in a strict Christian family. They blended in fine, but I noticed the differences when the conversation went to a deeper level. Teenage boys often talk about girls and sex but when I talked to a Christian about these subjects, I noticed they didn't have curiosity and didn't express what they liked. I came to the conclusion that their values prohibited them from being open to, and from developing their own ideas about these subjects. I value talking openly, trying to understand other people's perspectives and trying to see things as they really are. So, I felt like I wasn't talking to someone who could express their real opinions, but to someone who had been brainwashed.

I've met quit a few Japanese people who say that they are Christians. Also, wearing a Christian cross pendant is quit popular in Japan (for fashion, not for a religious statement). At first, I felt caution when I was with somebody from either of these two groups of Japanese people, but I soon realized that there was little or nothing for me to fear.
Japanese beliefs and values are instilled into Japanese children gently from birth. Japanese people consider them to be `Japanese ways`. They believe they have Japanese values because of their race, not from choosing a religion. Since they believe their values are natural and not a choice, they also believe they are not easy to change. If you hear a Japanese person use the phrases `she is a traditional Japanese` or hear me say`she is very Japanese` it means she lives according to typical Japanese values like a religion. All of the thouasands of Japanese people I've met have Japanese beliefs, superstitions and values. Some stronger than others but I'd say all are `very Japanese`. All of the dozen or so people who say they are Christian or wear a Christian cross around their neck who I've talked to have little or no strong Christian values at all. Their Japanese values are (and will always be) way too powerful to accept the true Christian beliefs.

Generally, there's a lot of pachinko, drinking and alot of casual sex in Japan, which is often worrying but indicates Japanese people are spiritually free to explore the fun things in life. On the other hand, Japanese people have their own values which foreigners struggle to understand. (I'll attempt to write about them sometime in the future.)
So to make my point clear, I think Japanese people can speak honestly about the `fun things in life` and listen to other opinions which is something I value. Even if they say they are Christian or have a Christian cross around their neck, they won't try to push Christian values at all, which I also appreciate.

PS-After dating a Japanese girl for a few months, I was shocked to hear from her that she was a Christian. This was when I started to realize that Japanese Christians were quite different to western Christians. Like most Japanese people, she thinks Japanese people don't have strong religious beliefs so Christianity had a lot of new and fresh ideas for her. Japanese values promote harmony, especially amongst religions.
(I might point out that this is the thing which I like the most about Japan)
Basically, Japanese people are open to, and often willing to adopt the ways of other religions, but adapt them so that they can also keep their traditional Japanese beliefs as well. If you're a Christian from South Carolina, a Buddhist from Tibet or a Muslim from Bhagdad, I'm sure you'll find your new Japanese friends interested in your religion and lifestyle.

Time For Fun ( 8 )

In the past, I’ve seen some of my Japanese room-mates work about 10 or 11 hours every day and not even get overtime pay. Some of them were working 6 days a week. When they finally got a day off they usually slept-in, visited friends or relatives, and caught up on their house chores for the week. Many English students work long hours through the week, then, instead of relaxing around the house and playing with the kids on their days off (or day off), they go to an English school. I admire their drive and hard work.

One of my Japanese room-mates once told me “I don’t like my company because I' m too busy to get time to think about my own life”. I like daydreaming and need time to think about my life. I don't think I could live without it.

Like people everywhere, it’s difficult to quit a secure job and go into the unknown, but more so in Japan. Japanese companies reward long-term workers (who don’t make waves) with seniority, and reward seniority with money, freedom and authority. Japanese people (especially Japanese men) realize that it’s better not to job-hop and keep starting at the bottom. It’s better to `fight on` to secure a better future.

My room-mate finally quit her job. It got to the point where she was crying (usually to her boyfriend) at least once a day and heading for a breakdown. She got a new job which paid less but didn’t have forced overtime. She was much happier. A few years after marrying her boyfriend, she fell pregnant. One of the first things she thught about was enrolling her baby into her preferred pre-school. Her child’s acceptance was automatic after registering but I've heard that some of the elite pre-schools even have entry exams.

Most elementary schools, junior high schools, high schools, universities and companies have entrance examinations. In Japan, scoring well in exams will ensure a good future. This is clear to both parents and children so children end up spending most of their free time going to juku or studying in their rooms.
Japanese people often say Ganbarimasu which promises “I will do my best”. Doing one’s best is highly valued in Japan and rewarded by parents, teachers and companies. It seems `Fun` is further down the list.
Recently, more and more young people are choosing unusual haircuts, part-time jobs with no responsibilities and speaking out against authority. Most Japanese look down on these young people. I think they are strong. They are choosing not to work like an ant their whole life. They are choosing to enjoy being lazy sometimes, daydream about their lives, and most importantly have fun. They are changing Japanese society.
More and more young Japanese people are looking for work without forced overtime. More an more are starting to think about escaping from their stressful work positions.

Big companies in Japan are losing their power to control their employee’s lives. I'm aware that the security of lifetime employment etc. is also fading, but it's a trade off.
How important is job security if you don't get time to even think about your own life?